A wonderful husband, father, brother, uncle, and friend,
Edward P. Kearney, 72, fought a courageous 13 year battle that ended at home on
the evening of November 9, 2014 with his wife, Linda (of 45 years) and daughter
Megan at his side. Always the wife-pleaser, Ed hung on until Linda told him it
was ok to go. Ed was born on March 26, 1942 to parents Helen and John Kearney
in Washington, DC. He is survived by his wife Linda, son Sean, daughters Erin
Mueller (Josh), Allyson Gahan (Kyle) and Megan McGrath (Tripp) , sister Grace
Anne, brother in law "Smitty", six grandchildren, nieces, nephews,
and countless close friends. Ed is reunited in eternal life with his parents,
sister Mary Theresa, nephew Michael Grimesey, and grandson Brody Gahan. Ed also
had a "second family" as his wife Linda sometimes referred to his
employer of almost 40 years... WLUC TV6. Ed was passionate about the news and
had the uncanny ability to balance family and work while keeping both happy. He
has touched countless lives through his career at TV6 and was inducted into the
Michigan Journalism Hall of Fame in 2006. Ed will be remembered for his quick
Irish sarcastic humor, his love for the Green Bay Packers, his dedication to
The Lord and savior Jesus Christ, and his ability to fix anything. Ed also
continued to help and serve others even while he was fighting his own battle.
He delivered meals on wheels and volunteered to drive patients to/from doctor
appointments, in between his own. Most of all Ed was a wonderful husband and an
unbelievable father. In lieu of flowers,
Ed would have asked that you do one kind act in his name... donate a little of
your time or money to a favorite charity, give a stranger a compliment, or
simply pray for someone.
Sunday, November 23, 2014
A tough situation gets tougher...
You will see that as I post these historical email updates that the situation changes slightly, and I get a much better feel for what is actually being said and alluded to in some of these doctor visits. The amount of information is tough to deal with because they still speak in medical field vocabulary, so you find yourself trying to re-explain things in ways that help you understand better...
Ed died on Sunday night (09NOV14) very unexpectedly. We were really hoping he could hang on until Allyson got through the appointments she needed to later that week. It just wasn't meant to be...so Allyson flew up to Michigan Monday morning and we put off all followup appointments until Friday of that week. This is what I sent my family that week:
I guess that is it in a nutshell! I’m flying solo with the kids while
she is up in Michigan and that is going fine. Our network of friends and family
is checking in on us and making us dinners here and there, so I just need to
focus on homework for Grayson and nebulizer treatments as both kids have
respiratory illnesses going on . Thank God I’m not dealing with fevers on top
of that!
Ed died on Sunday night (09NOV14) very unexpectedly. We were really hoping he could hang on until Allyson got through the appointments she needed to later that week. It just wasn't meant to be...so Allyson flew up to Michigan Monday morning and we put off all followup appointments until Friday of that week. This is what I sent my family that week:
I really appreciate all of the emails and texts that you guys
have been sending to Allyson and I over the last week…you would be surprised
how good it makes us feel to know you are all thinking about us…
Ed Funeral: There will be no traditional funeral so don't worry about keeping space in your schedules for later this week. They are going
to do something small at the house on Friday, and then do a “Celebration of
Life” later this year. This will be something very similar to what they did for
Pat Gahan since she died before the holidays and didn’t want a huge number of
family/friends to travel across the country with so much other stuff going on.
They will likely wait until this summer and do something at the beach (which is
where most of the Kearney family descends on together anyway). I know some of
you have asked for where to send flowers, but Linda prefers to receive no
flowers. Instead, she wants people to make donations on behalf of Ed to your
favorite charities. Ed was cremated on
Monday morning, so Ally did not get to see him in the end, but she wanted to
remember what he looked like before anyway…not the shell of the man that he had
become over the last year.
Allyson update: She put off her consultations with the
geneticist and medical oncologists until Friday of this week. She will fly back
to Charlotte tomorrow (Thursday), and then sees both doctors on Friday. We’ve
had travel plans to head to Charleston for the weekend for a long time, and I
think we are going to follow through with those to get away and be somewhere
else for a little while. It will give the kids a chance to swim in the hotel
pool and we’ll have fun with them through the weekend. They may even start the
chemo on Friday, but she’ll need to have a port put in so she can receive
treatments chemo via a port under her collar bone over the long haul. She
doesn’t have good veins for any long term needle use into her arms. That
procedure will likely happen early next week or shortly thereafter.
Original Diagnosis - Invasive Ductal Carcinoma
The original diagnosis - Allyson found a lump around the time that Ed and Linda made the trip to Myrtle Beach in mid-October. After seeing her OB/GYN for a referral, we went in for an ultrasound and mammogram on 28OCT14, where they determined it was probably something worse than a cyst or some other benign condition.
31OCT14 - Biopsy to get tissue ensued and it was sent to a lab for analysis
03NOV14 - Allyson is driving in the car and gets a call from the radiologist that she has breast cancer. This is also Avery's Birthday, Allyson came home immediately so we could call the doctor for a full explanation. This night was ridiculous as we tried to ensure we did Avery's Birthday right and not ruin it with unexplained crying.
05NOV14 - Met with the surgical oncologist to get a full run down of what they think we are dealing with...Below is an email I sent my family on 07NOV14 with more details from that visit:
31OCT14 - Biopsy to get tissue ensued and it was sent to a lab for analysis
03NOV14 - Allyson is driving in the car and gets a call from the radiologist that she has breast cancer. This is also Avery's Birthday, Allyson came home immediately so we could call the doctor for a full explanation. This night was ridiculous as we tried to ensure we did Avery's Birthday right and not ruin it with unexplained crying.
05NOV14 - Met with the surgical oncologist to get a full run down of what they think we are dealing with...Below is an email I sent my family on 07NOV14 with more details from that visit:
Hey everyone,
I know I’ve talked to a couple of you about this, but this
will be the first time most of you have heard what’s been going on down in
Charlotte..
No easy way to lead into this, but here it goes: Allyson
found a lump in one of her breasts a few weeks back and needed a referral from
her OB to go see a radiologist for a mammogram and ultrasound on it.
During those scans last week, the mass was dense enough that they ruled out the
easy and benign stuff, and quickly scheduled a biopsy on the lump. On Monday of
this week they called to report that the mass was indeed cancer. They
called her in the car as she was driving instead of calling us into an office,
which we were expecting them to do. Not cool at all! That shocking news was
followed by an appointment on Wednesday morning with a surgical oncologist, who
went into great detail about her type of cancer. There are multiple drivers of
cancer growth in different human beings. Some are hormone drivers (like
estrogen), and some are genetic drivers (breast cancer gene), and some are
driven by proteins. Allyson’s type of cancer has a protein driver called HER-2,
and the presence of this protein in her mass means that this type of cancer
will grow very fast if left unchecked.
Evidently they classify breast cancer (at the start) by the
size of the mass in the breast, and she appears to measuring in at late stage
1. This is good! She caught it early! The MRI she had this morning appears to
show a couple other possible concerns, but the doctors believe those areas are
of the benign type and that the mass they are focused on now is the only
cancerous one. She will have biopsies next week from the other areas of concern
that will rule them in/out as something else to focus on. The MRI does not show
any evidence of growth in her lymph nodes, which is of extreme importance
because if it reaches those nodes the cancer can quickly spread elsewhere.
The appointment on Wednesday was overwhelming, because we
were force fed a huge amount of information in a very short period of time, and
when you take into account the emotions of sitting there listening to
chemotherapy options and surgical options it was difficult to take everything
in. It has taken two of us at each appointment to ensure that we aren't missing
anything, and we still come away with questions that the other one can’t
answer. So…while it is obvious that she has cancer, we went out and got a
second opinion today to ensure that we 1) had a good doctor, 2) were being
given all the right information, and 3) to answer more questions that we had
after the first meeting with the first oncologist. We actually liked the
oncologist today much better, and will be switching over to him immediately.
His bed-side manner is much better, and we just felt better in the gut walking
out of the appointment today than we did on Wednesday. This guy is very well
known, and recommended to us from multiple directions when we started asking
around our circles of neighbor/work/gym friends. It turns out he is very good
friends with the medical oncologist that we will see next Wednesday, and he had
nothing but good things to say about that doctor. We feel like we are in good
hands!
Next week, Allyson will get a full genetic workup to ensure
she does/does not carry the breast cancer gene. We will also meet with her
oncologist to go over the treatment options she has after all the
test/genetic/scan results are fully examined. This is not set in stone yet, but
it is very likely that we are headed for immediate chemotherapy for at least 4
months, followed by surgery to remove both breasts. She could go with a
lumpectomy to remove the growth now, followed by radiation for 6 weeks.
However, the risk of radiation at 38 years old increases the risk of other
cancers later in life. If she goes the chemotherapy and mastectomy route, she
will not have to go through radiation, and she can proceed with immediate
plastic surgery to get that rack that I, I mean she, always wanted ;).
The reason for immediate chemotherapy, and not immediate
surgery, is due to that protein growth driver called HER-2. The chemo will stop
the growth, and even reduce the size of that current growth. It will also stop
any other growths throughout her body that we don’t know about (including in
the lymph nodes). If she goes the immediate surgery route to remove the growth
we are looking at about a 4-8 week delay due to surgery schedules and other
pre-surgery issues that need to be addressed. This gives the current mass more
time to grow and spread. By going with chemo now we not only stop any new
growth, but we buy ourselves time to jump through all of the other hoops if we
decide on the mastectomy route. Like I said, the options can be overwhelming.
The chemo will make her lose her hair. But everybody
responds differently to different types of chemo, and none of the doctors seem
to think that the type of chemo she needs will make her drop a bunch of weight
that she doesn't have to give or lose all of her energy. Right now the plan is
for her to work as much as possible through the process unless she really has a
difficult time with the chemo. Obviously we are going to try and find a wig
maker for her current hair, and Allyson will get to play with a bunch of
different hair-dos should she so desire. The hair loss thing is big for her
though, and seems to bring the most tears whenever discussed.
Today we also found out about a possible experimental
treatment that will give her the drug to stop the HER-2 receptor, but not
require the chemo. We’ll find out more about that next week, and while we are
excited about the possibility, we aren’t getting our hopes up. Too much has
just happened in a short period of time where every test came back the opposite
of what we expected or were hoping for…
On top of all this, we can’t even tell Allyson’s mom and
dad. Ed came home from the hospital last night with hospice care. This means
that he is without medicine from this point forward. He has developed a disease
called Amyloidosis, which is a protein secreted by the bone marrow that does
major damage to his internal organs. This is the reason why they've been having
to drain fluid from his abdomen on an increasing frequency over the last couple
months. He can’t keep any food down, and his urine levels are at extreme lows.
At this point we are looking at a matter of days, not weeks or months.
Allyson’s mom is not dealing well, and we won’t let Ed go to the grave knowing
that Allyson is sick. Allyson’s brother and sisters all know about the cancer,
and we are hoping that Ed can hang on long enough so that Allyson can get up
there to see him on Wednesday night after her important appointments are
completed that day. I’m not sure when we’ll tell Linda that Allyson is sick,
but it isn't going to be very soon.
Getting the news about Ed last night is more than one person
should have to handle, considering everything else that she is going through.
Last night was really, really hard…but we are just trying to focus on one day
at a time right now, and Allyson is still finding ways to draw laughs from her
oncologist at the appointment today. At the end of the appointment today
we were given a percentage that made my day. He said he was 90% sure that
Allyson is going to beat this thing, and that is the best news we've gotten in
a few weeks.
Eventually I’m going to pick back up on the GratefulGahan’s
blog that I started years ago and have since let go. Too many phone calls, and
too many emails have already happened, and it is taking a lot of time to get
through when that happens. We both still have work to do and 2 kids to raise
and we can’t keep up at this pace. By doing the blog we’ll be able to put all
the info in one place for friends/family to keep updated with..hopefully that
will help us manage the flow of good thoughts and people checking up. I
can’t start that back up until Linda is clued in on what has been happening
though. So stand by on that.
I love you guys, and will let you know as soon as we are
able about our ability to travel over the holidays, or take guests, or whatever
the case may be. I’ll send out another note late next week to let you know what
we’ve decided on treatment wise and any other information that has come about.
I'm back...
But for all the wrong reasons...:(
Up until this point I've been emailing people with news of Allyson's breast cancer diagnosis. Now that everyone within the immediate family knows the situation, I'm returning to the blog to keep everyone updated. This prevents massive amounts of emails and texts as everyone wants to check in on the latest news. While I will post everything to this blog, it does not mean that you have to stop sending encouraging texts and emails to her. Please keep doing that. You would be surprised at how good it can make you feel to receive sweet notes and well wishes at any given moment. So what I will do now, is cut/paste most of the emails that I've sent out about Allyson to give people a chronological background on how we got to this day.
Up until this point I've been emailing people with news of Allyson's breast cancer diagnosis. Now that everyone within the immediate family knows the situation, I'm returning to the blog to keep everyone updated. This prevents massive amounts of emails and texts as everyone wants to check in on the latest news. While I will post everything to this blog, it does not mean that you have to stop sending encouraging texts and emails to her. Please keep doing that. You would be surprised at how good it can make you feel to receive sweet notes and well wishes at any given moment. So what I will do now, is cut/paste most of the emails that I've sent out about Allyson to give people a chronological background on how we got to this day.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Saturday afternoon at the Gahan house...
Hey Everyone!
Thought I would post some pics from around the house today...
Grayson likes to return to his roots and play in Avery's (formerly Grayson's activity center)...:)
Someone is already likes to pose!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
March updates
Hey all,
Sorry I've been so bad at this stuff this year. I'm going to try a different approach and just write more because it is very easy to do. Then I can just post pictures when I can carve some time out on the weekends...
Let's see, what is going on in the Gahan household? Allyson is getting back into the groove of work. She is home so much earlier than when we lived in Annapolis, so she/we get so much more time together with the kids before bedtime arrives. This new location has been a God-send for us in many respects. Now that the weather is warming up we love being outside as much as possible before the real heat gets here. We like to walk to go on walks and take Truman with us as I have finally stopped taking him on my runs. I'm running further than I was before and he is now 10 years old. He just can't keep up... Grayson has also started shooting hoops in the backyard so I LOVE that!!
Grayson will soon be moving up to the next class at daycare (this June) so that will certainly be an interesting transition for him. He is so particular about how his day goes so we never know how he'll respond to those sorts of changes. He is potty-training really well! He really has no wet dipes anymore and he's very good about telling us whenever he has to go. He is still only taking baby steps on the other side of things though. He definitely seems to grasp that we aren't fans of cleaning up dirty underwear so that is at least a small victory as he is much more selective about when/where he goes. He just finished up swim lessons at the local rec center, but they are pretty much a joke. Looking forward to the neighborhood pool opening up in May so we can continue on our own. He kicks well and has the arm motions right, but I can't get him to open up his hands into paddles to save my life. He keeps his hands balled up in fists which isn't going to keep him afloat. I guess I just have to wait on a switch to flick in his head before he gets it.
Avery continues to be a very happy go lucky baby, although it is getting harder to call her a baby now. She is getting so big so fast, and now prefers sitting up to laying down. She is using her hands alot lately and cutting her first teeth. She is still a much better sleeper than Grayson was, but is hardly sleeping long hours. She has good nights to be sure, but still has nights where she is up every 2 hours to feed. The common theme in our house "we can sleep when we're dead". She has also started to be able to hold onto Grayson's toys, which he doesn't like very much LOL. It starts already!! His refrain "Give Avery a baby toy!"
The family we do a nanny-share with just found out their daughter has a major heart condition, so we've been trying to find another family to share Susan with. We can't afford her on our own for much longer, but we have a fish on right now that is very promising and wants to start at the beginning of April. Cross your fingers that everything works out there!
Anyway, the weather this weeks is mid-70s and this is the perfect time for some of you northerners to come visit us to get an early taste of spring! We love to have out of town guests!
Love you,
Kyle
Sorry I've been so bad at this stuff this year. I'm going to try a different approach and just write more because it is very easy to do. Then I can just post pictures when I can carve some time out on the weekends...
Let's see, what is going on in the Gahan household? Allyson is getting back into the groove of work. She is home so much earlier than when we lived in Annapolis, so she/we get so much more time together with the kids before bedtime arrives. This new location has been a God-send for us in many respects. Now that the weather is warming up we love being outside as much as possible before the real heat gets here. We like to walk to go on walks and take Truman with us as I have finally stopped taking him on my runs. I'm running further than I was before and he is now 10 years old. He just can't keep up... Grayson has also started shooting hoops in the backyard so I LOVE that!!
Grayson will soon be moving up to the next class at daycare (this June) so that will certainly be an interesting transition for him. He is so particular about how his day goes so we never know how he'll respond to those sorts of changes. He is potty-training really well! He really has no wet dipes anymore and he's very good about telling us whenever he has to go. He is still only taking baby steps on the other side of things though. He definitely seems to grasp that we aren't fans of cleaning up dirty underwear so that is at least a small victory as he is much more selective about when/where he goes. He just finished up swim lessons at the local rec center, but they are pretty much a joke. Looking forward to the neighborhood pool opening up in May so we can continue on our own. He kicks well and has the arm motions right, but I can't get him to open up his hands into paddles to save my life. He keeps his hands balled up in fists which isn't going to keep him afloat. I guess I just have to wait on a switch to flick in his head before he gets it.
Avery continues to be a very happy go lucky baby, although it is getting harder to call her a baby now. She is getting so big so fast, and now prefers sitting up to laying down. She is using her hands alot lately and cutting her first teeth. She is still a much better sleeper than Grayson was, but is hardly sleeping long hours. She has good nights to be sure, but still has nights where she is up every 2 hours to feed. The common theme in our house "we can sleep when we're dead". She has also started to be able to hold onto Grayson's toys, which he doesn't like very much LOL. It starts already!! His refrain "Give Avery a baby toy!"
The family we do a nanny-share with just found out their daughter has a major heart condition, so we've been trying to find another family to share Susan with. We can't afford her on our own for much longer, but we have a fish on right now that is very promising and wants to start at the beginning of April. Cross your fingers that everything works out there!
Anyway, the weather this weeks is mid-70s and this is the perfect time for some of you northerners to come visit us to get an early taste of spring! We love to have out of town guests!
Love you,
Kyle
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